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needles and hot showers
Friday, April 26, 2002
12:45 p.m.
Fuck me, I’m exhausted. And I don’t know why. I take my vitamins everyday like a good boy. I haven’t been eating -great-, but I haven’t been pigging out on ring dings, nachos and coke either.
I think it may be due to my shoulder. I slept on it wrong earlier this week and man am I paying for it now.
A massage therapist, acupuncture and muscle relaxant later, it is doing better though. It could be that I’m concerned about sleeping on it wrong again that it is disturbing my sleep patterns.
I hate sleeping alone.
Saw The Scorpion King last night. It wasn’t an art film, that’s for sure, but it was a fun one. Lots of testosterone, muscles, grunting…
My main complaint is that the “barbarian” had too many lines. The lead (The Rock) would have been much better as a brooding moody barbarian, not a chatty one.
The comment was made and I am inclined to agree, The Rock sure made riding a camel look studly.
If ladies were my style, I would say that the sorceress might be pretty hot too. In any event, she was pretty.
All in all, it was a fun movie.
I’ve been hard at work on another site. A poetry site. My haiku (what little I have) just doesn't seem suited for the current homepage. So I'm working on a new one. Eventually I would like to start hosting stray and homeless poets, but right now, I'm just trying to get the damn thing up and running.
I’m still working on the Jin Roh site, I want to get some more information up about the movie before “publishing?” it. bear got a real good picture of a wolf brigade costume last year at DragonCon. She said she will scan it and let me put it up on the site.
Other than that, nothing of interest is going on in my life. I go to work, I come home.
dapples of dew
suspended in mid air,
a spider's nature
I haven’t seen Drew much this week. But he promised that he won’t work this weekend and that I have him all to myself until Monday morning. He is coming over tonight to make dinner and we are most likely going to watch movies, feed each other popcorn, drink soda (I’ve pretty much quit drinking) and basically chill this weekend. I would like to take a bike ride into upstate NJ and into NY state. Here’s hoping the weather holds out.
toxic
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Geez, am I that predictable?
Thursday, April 18, 2002
07:54 p.m.
I need to stop with the online tests
Following Ashura's lead, I had to see which X-men character I was.
I'm Logan
What X-Men Character are You?
[groan]
toxic
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I guess you could call it a breakthrough
Thursday, April 18, 2002
12:30 p.m.
Recently I have started writing haiku. It is a challenging form of poetry, restrictive and yet very liberating. It gives me focus, it helps induce clarity (which I am sorely lacking these days). And it really is a great meditative tool.
The haiku masters and teachers that I've read so far have different ways to approach the practise of haiku. Some hold to different rules much more closely than others.
One thing is pretty much standard. It is much like the practise of meditation. You just have to keep at it daily and it gets better and easier.
They all said something that strikes me, and I didn't really believe it until it occured to me today. I had a haiku moment.
They all mention the Haiku Moment. That space and time where everything comes down to clarity in the now. Not the past, not the future. The now.
And in that one statement is the key to all unhappiness or happiness depending on how you view it. If you live in the now, you are unencumbered by the past and by the future. Or you can hang the past and the future in that small space of the now, and suffocate because you no longer have the pure now.
It all comes down to conscious choice.
Listen to me, armchair philosopher.
But for all that, it was in that moment of realization that my life was put into perspective. And the desperation I felt has subsided considerably.
I've heard your biggest breakthroughs are when you are at your lowest.
And I was pretty low. Lets see how long it holds.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
stubborn weed
growing against the wind
inhale spring's delight
~~~~~
Gale Winds bend the oak
in silent discipline
Soft hands caress me
~~~~~
cotton puffs
reflected in the water
look! a horse
All entries, unless otherwise noted, are Copyright © 2002 toxictattoo. All Rights Reserved.
toxic
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addendum to my last entry
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
08:20 p.m.
I thought about changing my last entry to reflect my new gained knowledge, but opted instead to just make a new entry.
I contacted the organizer of the petition, and she said that she wished only for organizations at this time.
So if you are an organization (or can speak for one), please consider signing the petition.
In the meantime, I need to figure out how to become one myself so I can add my name.
toxic
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My current crusade
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
07:26 p.m.
A petition to Dr. Pepper/ Seven UP, Inc. (“7 Up”) asking them not to air a commercial that portrays prison rape as funny. Go to my web site page for details. Please consider sending in your name. If you feel funny about sending your name, drop me a line and I'll figure out a way to become an "organization". Certainly if you have any ideas, I'm open to suggestions.
toxic
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surprise...not
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
05:17 p.m.
Those dumb online tests.
Are you seme or uke? Find out!
Not that these results are surprising to anyone who knows me.
Its been a right shitty week. Not much to say. Will talk to Drew before spilling my guts here.
toxic
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